Heavenly Ramblings

Yes I am still among the living! I am telling you I thought life was busy with all the kids in our house, but now I have yet another non-monetary paying job. I never knew what WORK it was going to be, being a pastor’s wife. I was so very nervous about this position God has so graciously placed me but let me tell you it is work. Just keeping Richard organized is enough. I laugh and say that every pastor I have met over the last 10 months has a good and efficient woman behind him whether that be his wife or a secretary. So now taking up my time are the non-paying but graciously satisfying jobs of wife, maid, mother,cook, maid, secretary, gopher, maid, writer, teacher, maid, painter, carpenter, maid, gardener, nurse, maid, accountant, plumber, and did I mention maid? LOL

I could go on and on and on about this subject but I wanted to tell you about a funeral I attended today. I sang there, in celebration of Ellen Delois Buswell’s life. I have never seen her before today, however I learned she was my mother’s 4-H leader when she was a child. Richard officiated the ceremony, and he kept a constant theme throughout the service as to what a wonderful teacher and woman she was.

I want to tell you about a man that I remember. My dad.
I can still picture my dad bouncing me on his knee, cheering me on at my dance recitals, teaching me how ride my bike, helping me reel in my first fish and telling me stories about his early days of working on the Burlington Northern Railroad. I can still hear him saying the words, “Sis, I love you.” I can imagine him russeling my hair as I sat on his lap, playing barbies with me on the living room floor and sharing a hot dog with me at on of his many ball games I watched.

I can still see him puffing up his chest when he talked about me to his friends. He was proud to be my dad. He would do anything for me. I was his daughter; he was my dad. I was his pride and joy.

I can still see all of this and much more, but I don’t see it in the reservoir of fond memories. Instead, I recall it from an imagination and yearning that wished then and wishes now that it were so. My dad left home when I was fourteen. I never really knew him. He was a very distant man from his family and rarely spent time at home with us kids and my mother.

I’m 43 years old. My dad died almost 3 years ago and I still miss him (even though that’s hard to admit). I even cry sometimes when I’m honest with myself about how I feel.

You see, I hadn’t talked to my father but once in about 8 years, and before that it was only at funerals or by happenstance. I don’t miss my father the way I did know him, I miss him in the way I wish I knew him. I wish I could tell you what a wonderful father he was and how much I knew he loved me but I really don’t know if he did or not. If he did he never told me. In 40 years of my life I do not recall one time my dad saying, “I Love You”.

Now that I am a foster parent, I see what an effect that has on small children’s lives and what an impact it will have on their lives forever. If you are a parent and you are reading this…please tell your children EVERYDAY how much they mean to you and how much you love them. And children tell you parents how much you love them. Even when they seem the most uncaring creatures in the world, they make decisions based on what they think is best for you and you will thank them for it when you are grown.  I wish I had the opportunity to have that conversation with my father.  I told him I loved him every time I saw him but because of his choice of not seeing me for several years I sometimes wonder if he knew I loved him.

Children deserve a father and a mother to help nurture them and teach them the ways of the Lord. It is our God given right and responsibility. In fact it is a commandment from God to teach them the way they should go and they will not depart from it.

Don’t ever let a day go buy without telling your children that you love them. The rest of their life may depend on it.

Just as I am certain that there will be storms in my life, I am also certain that God will provide for every storm I will ever face. You have heard the expression bad things happen to good people? Well as my husband preached from the pulpit last Sunday, either the glass is half empty or half full…how ever you want to look at it. If you are an optimist, you look at the glass as being 1/2 full. If you are a pessimist, you look at it being 1/2 empty. Which would you rather be? Which are you? If you look at the glass being 1/2 empty there is no room for you to grow spiritually or otherwise. If you are looking at the glass as being 1/2 full then you are telling the Lord FILL IT UP! I try to be a optimist, and am learning more and more how to do that. Diligently studying God’s Word teaches me more and more everyday. However I tend to be more of a pessimist, waiting for good things to come to me instead of trusting in God that they will come. Recently God has revealed to me that every storm is an opportunity to trust in Him. He delivers a heavenly perspective when challenging times arise. He wants us to see the challenge as He sees it..not how we choose to see it within our humanly flesh.

So how can we learn to trust in Him during the storms in our lives? Five simple steps that God has revealed to me have helped in my spiritual walk.

• Living a pure life.

In Titus 1:15 it says ” To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted.” (NIV) Some people see good all around them, while others see nothing but evil. (Some see the glass 1/2 full, other see it 1/2 empty) Our souls become filters through which we perceive goodness or evil. The pure, those who have surrendered their life to Jesus, learn to see goodness and purity even during the storms in their lives. But the corrupt (the nonbeliever) find evil in everything because their minds and hearts color even the good they see and hear. Whatever you choose to fill your mind with will affect the way you think and act. Turn your thoughts to God and His word, and you will figure out more and more goodness during the storms of life. Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. The word pure is mentioned in the bible 108 times. The phrase Pure in Heart or Pure Heart is mentioned 11 times. I think God was serious when he said to “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things”.

• Seek God’s understanding

Understanding is only as good as where it comes from. Human understanding is limited. God’s understanding is infinite and unspoiled. Our greatest lessons are learned in the greatest storms. I know you have heard that statement many times — but are those words a living reality in your life.

I read a story recently about a teacher who was asked a question by one of his students who had come across Deuteronomy 6:6, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.” The student asked, “Why does it say to put God’s commandments upon our hearts instead of in our hearts?” The wise teacher responded, “It is not within man’s power to deposit truth directly into his heart. All we can do is place truth on the surface of the heart so that when the heart breaks, it will fall in!” I found his answer very profound for a small child’s mind. As children our hearts get broke more often than not. Every circumstance that results in a broken heart, is designed to produce more truth, greater self-control and fresh understanding of God’s amazing grace and providence. We can face every storm with confidence, knowing that God will redeem it for understanding and truth!

• Learn to be patient

Whew! This is a big one for me. I must confess that I am not the epitome of patience! In fact, I hate to wait — on anyone or anything — which may very well explain the presence of certain storms and trials in my life. Richard says I don’t pray enough for patience. I don’t EVER pray for patience because when I do God’s sends me a storm to give me some. LOL

James 1:2-8 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (NIV)

I tend to consider it pure joy when I can escape trials in my life, but James tells us that trials can and should be faced with patience and an attitude of joy. Not joy for the trials but joy in the trials! Don’t miss this vital truth. I often wonder when I have escaped a trial, what I missed learning from the storm that God intended for me to learn. What joy I missed out on. What fantastic story of faith and courage I missed to be able to tell a lost soul. Trials are a test, a measurement of growth. Patience gives God time to work in our lives. We, as humans, go to great lengths to avoid trials and try to protect ourselves from the storms of life. As a result, we are spiritually immature. God will not build our character without our cooperation. He will not work in us without our permission! We must surrender! We must invite Him to work and then by faith, patiently embrace that work in our lives.

• Practice Kindness to others

When bad things happen, we cry out in desperation for someone to care! More people come to Christ during a crisis than at any other time. When we are caught in the midst of life’s storms and we are hurting, we do so for selfish reasons…we want to feel better, so we gratify the flesh without thinking of how it hurts others. God doesn’t want us to do that; He does not want us to make others feel sorry for ourselves in our time of need…because this hurts God’s heart. I often wonder just how amazed we will be when we get to Heaven and find the unlikely, unknown but devoted servants of God exalted above all others — rewarded for their quiet and often unseen acts of kindness.

Others in need constantly parade before us day after day but we don’t see them! We are too busy to see the storms He sends our way. We view them as intrusions, annoying interruptions in our very important schedule. These uninvited and unscheduled guests may very well be divine appointments sent by God. The warning of Hebrews 13:2 is scary. “Remember to welcome strangers, because some who have done this have welcomed angels without knowing it.” How many angels have we missed because we were too busy!

• Experience and practice love

We not only need God in the midst of the storm, we need each other! Learning to build healthy relationships is crucial to a God filled life. When someone is disappointed, disgruntled, or displeased with us, we have a choice to make — to honor God by waging peace or entertain satan with conflict in relationships. God is committed to unity. If we don’t make “every effort” to fight discord, a storm may come to help us do so.

What storm is raging in your life today? What step do you need to take in order to experience His strength for that storm? Our Father stands ready to meet you in your darkest hour. He longs to wrap His arms around you until the winds die down and the waves are gone. Right now — surrender. Celebrate the storm that dashed your battered life on the shores of His unending love.

My mother gave birth to her 4th child.  After having 3 boys it must have been a welcomed sound for the Dr. to say “It’s a girl!”

With all the ups and downs of a mother/daughter relationship, ours has stood the test of times and we have remained close to each other not only in miles but in feelings.  Now that I am older I appreciate  my birth and my mothers raising of me alone more and more each day.  She sacrificed alot to bring me up to be the person I am today.

And just who am I you ask?

I am a person who…

• Is a child of God who for some reason loves me no matter what.  Every time I fail Him he just reaches down and picks me up and says “welcome home My child, I am here for you”.
• Loves the Lord with all her mind, soul, strength, and body, and strives everyday to grow closer to Him and learn to trust in Him without fail.
• Is finally happy in a marriage that I can share my desires of knowing and walking with the Lord daily.  I could not have asked for a better choice from God for the gift he gave me in my husband Richard.  He is a true man of God, who’s only desire is to preach the Gospel to lead other to Christ.
• A mother to 13+ children (all step and foster kids included) who I would lay down my life for any one of them.  They are all beautiful children and I praise God everyday that each and every one of them have come into my life and left footprints on my heart.
• A teacher to my daughter Kelsey.  We enjoy homeschooling so much.  We spend the day together hashing out math and other subjects that aren’t on OUR priority list.  LOL  But nonetheless we get them done.
• A Nanna to this beautiful child:

This week and last has been a hectic week with Ima having surgery on her wrist and going back and forth to Columbia. Then Dr. appointments and the opportunity to sing a wonderful song “Life’s Railway to Heaven” for a dear old friend’s funeral, this week, It seems I have had no time (as usual) to do much of anything much less write in my blog. I know, Cindy, I know…. I never call, I never write, and I don’t post in my blog. LOL. So here I am posting about a feeling I have had over the course of being a mom and explaining how I have come to grips with it.

I have fond memories of living at home with my mom and sharing responsibilities with her of house cleaning and laundry, and cooking. I did most of household chores because it was the only way I could show my mom how much I appreciated how hard she worked to put me through school after my parents divorce.

I have said to my children on more than one occasion…”I am your mother, not your slave”. Before having children, I did not acknowledge my self-centeredness. After all, I did nice things for my mom, my friends, helped my co-workers with their struggles, volunteered at church. But any serving I did was because I chose to serve at a time that was convenient for me. When my children were born my ability to chose what I wanted died. I became an on call servant whether I liked it or not. I spent most of my time stomping around the house hollering “I am your mother, not your slave” or “I am your wife not your slave”. They ignored my complaints but I recently found out that God was listening all the time. Every time I would ask the question…the answer from God came…”yes”.

When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I never said things like “I want to be a servant”, or” I want to serve people”. Jesus tells us that we should all want to be servants. In Mark 9:35 it says “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all”. Some days it is hard to be a servant. The servant in me wants to say, “go ahead honey, you need to study. I will keep the children quiet so you can do that”. But the sinful nature in me wants to say, “What do you mean, you need it quiet to study? All week you go to a clean, quiet office, while I am stuck in a messy house with loud, demanding children. I’m the one who needs some quiet time!”

The solution? Galatians 2:20 says “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” When I am unable to let the servant in me serve, I let the Jesus in me take over. When I have taught Kelsey all day and one of the other kids come home and immediately need help with homework, I let the Jesus in me do math. When Catlynn is screaming for food and I have not had time to eat breakfast or lunch, I let the Jesus in my fix her something to eat. When Richard tells me he needs to study when he gets home, I let the Jesus in me make sure his desk is clean so he can get to it.

Jesus’ life was a life of service. “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve” (Mark 10:25). He gave his life for all who would trust and believe in Him. He didn’t demand the things He deserved. He often postponed His personal desires so He could minister to others. I have much to learn about being a servant. Daily I pray and ask God to help me with this. Daily I seek His wisdom and ask Him to help me die to self and live for others, to serve my family as He has served me. As I pray, I discover that God is not only doing something through me, He is doing something in me. He is teaching me to be more like Jesus.

I want to do something very special for my husband tonight. I hope he doesn’t read this before he comes home. I am going to wash his feet for him. Washing the feet of His disciples was one of the last things Jesus did to show service to them. Richard and I have done this at a service at church for Maundy Thursday celebration. It is a very humbling experience and portrays my feelings of love for him and the desire to be obedient to God, and the submissiveness to my husband that he deserves.

So I want to say thank you to my husband and my children. If it weren’t for you, I am not sure I would ever have learned what it truly means to put others before myself.

“Be very careful to keep the commandments and the law that Moses the servant of the Lord gave you: to love the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to obey His commands, to hold fast to Him and to serve Him with all your heart and all your soul.”  Joshua 22:5

In Christ’s love.

I was wondering if there was even a way to update you.  So much has happened in the last few weeks that I don’t know where to begin or how I could fit it into a post.  So here is the Reader’s Digest version:

Two weeks ago we welcomed a sibling group of 3 into our family.  Two girls, 12 and 8 and a boy 11.  The most positive thing I can say about the brief stay of one week they had with us was that it was just that…only a week.  I think we experienced our first stumbling block as foster parents.  These kids had been taught to lie and taught well.  They were very used to getting what they wanted, when they wanted, and how they wanted it.  The 8 year old girl ripped wallpaper off the bathroom walls.  The boy emptied a bottle of propane (thank God he didn’t know where the matches were).  The oldest stole some items from us when they left.  All of this I could have dealt with but it was the names they called us to our daughter that I couldn’t handle.  We have always said that if being foster parents made Kelsey’s life change we wouldn’t do it.  We want to maintain the relationship intact with her.  Even though we treat our foster kids the same as if they were our own…we still want Kelsey to feel a sense of being special.

Then last Friday we got a phone call and took in a little 11 year old girl.  Of course as you know I can’t give you names or details, but know that this little girl needs prayers and lots of them.  She has been through a lot (as most of them have) and needs to have a sense of what a real family is like.  I hope and pray with God’s help we can provide that for her.

Outside of the foster parent world…we have been having a wonderful time at the churches that Richard has been assigned to.  Each Sunday we have been having parishioners over for dinner.  This past week we had Ron and Jan Miller, and Mike and Aneta Patterson.  I fixed the only Japanese meal I know how to make.  Teriyaki Beef, Vegetable Stiry Fry, Shuma, California Rolls (compliments of my full blooded Japanese mother-in-law), Rice, and Japanese Cabbage.  All thought the meal was great.  I am not sure I could cook  Japanese meals all the time.  It is very time consuming.  But I have a wonderful husband who happens to be a fabulous cook and a great help in the kitchen.  We had some wonderful table discussion about different topics in today’s society.  It is nice to be able to have dinners like this to get to know each of the families in our churches on a more intimate basis.  When you only see them once a week it is hard to get to know them.  Richard and I decided to do this early on to give us a more in-depth relationship with each and every one of them.  It may take us a few months to get through all of them, but that is the plan anyway.

School is going good for Kelsey and I.  She doesn’t think her teacher is so mean this year.  LOL.  We are really having fun.  Every subject we are studying has biblical influence in it. In History, we are working with “The Mystery of History“.  It is written from a biblical perspective and by a woman proclaiming Jesus as her personal Savior.  I was impressed the very first time I saw it.  The same with Science.  The book is titled “Flying Creatures of the Fifth Day”, by Apologia.  She has a Math class, which we are using Saxon Math.  I needed a clear cut math text because I am not very good at math.  (Dad is the math whiz)  Bible Study, Spelling, Language, and her personal favorite, the extracurricular classes, which include: sewing, cooking, computers, and scrapbooking.  I save them for the end of the day to make sure she gets all of her other work done.  I will take pictures of the room we have set up for school soon and post them here.

Well that is about it for now.  To the outside our lives seem busy.  To us we are just doing exactly what we want to be doing…spreading the good news of salvation.

OK so it has been more than a few days…(19 to be exact)…But let me tell you I have been one busy farm girl.

I have the house completely unpacked. I am amazed at how much I have gotten done when I actually stay off the computer. LOL

So what have I been up to besides unpacking? Enjoying life. I can’t believe how relaxed I have been since moving out into the land of the unknown. We were outside the other day and we actually had a couple drive up on a 4-wheeler and introduced themselves as our neighbors. I said “We have neighbors? Cool!” Our house sits on top of a hill and we can’t see any houses anywhere around us. It is so peaceful out here and other than the dog Cody, (thanks to the Fuhrhops) all we hear are unfamiliar sounds of nature.

We also have the occasional frequent semi’s that travel the blacktop out in front of our house back and forth from Premium Standard Farms in Milan (about 12 miles away) carrying hogs from the holding facility about 4 miles up the road. Not really sure if Cody is going to have fun with them or not. Right now we have him tied in the side yard and he barely raises his head to notice them. We are going to keep him tied for a week or so with the hopes of when we eventually let him run loose that he won’t run off.

Now the cat we have recently acquired is a different story. She has been a town cat all of her life and we transported her out here in a box which she hated us for just loved and enjoyed the ride. When our daughter opened the box, she took off for the woods and promptly stayed there until dark. She came out of the woods to eat and then promptly back to the woods. Haven’t seen her all day but I am sure she will show up for food sometime this evening. She will adjust….we hope. She will be joined by 2 kittens on Sunday. I am sure they won’t venture far as they are only 8 weeks old. Food is still the most important thing for them.

I am going to have to get a hold of my good friend Jennifer Allen and find out what I have to do to get some chickens on the place. Wouldn’t it be cool to gather eggs every morning to cook for breakfast. I am pretty sure we will have to repair the existing chicken coop as it has a weather made back door for the coyotes. I hear they like chicken as a delicacy!

So the pool is set up, trampoline together, and the house is all arranged. So now the adventure of farm life starts. I can’t wait to have a garden in the spring and the kids help and can beans, corn, and other veggies. Also we want to have cucumbers, tomatoes, potatoes, and watermelon! LOTS and LOTS of watermelon! Oh the farm life. I am relaxed and seem to be a lot more stress free…can ya tell?

We have been having friends out for BB Q’s and have hopes of making it through the congregations of both churches for families over for dinner. Speaking of congregations, we absolutely love the church families of both Bear Branch and Purdin UMC’s. They have both been very loving and welcoming. I can’t wait to be a part of building their churches and ministering not only to them but WITH them to reach out to others with the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Well I guess that is enough rambling for now. Again I apologize about it being so long. I guess I was just enjoying the peace and quiet while hubby was getting very frustrated about the Internet service being intermittent. That is my hubby for ya.

God bless and I promise it won’t be as long between posts again.