Have you ever tried to do it all?

I have, I do, and I probably always will.   Being a woman requires more stamina, more creativity, and more wisdom than I ever dreamed as a young girl.  And that’s not just true for today’s busy women.  It has always been the case.  It gives new meaning to the phrase from Forrest Gump “I’ve worn lots of shoes.”

Having a Mary heart in a Martha world is something we have all no doubt thought about.  Deep down we all have a calling, to learn more about and to know and love God more intimately.  To truly know Jesus Christ and the walk with Him daily is something I long for on a daily basis.  You’re not after more head knowledge – it is heart knowledge you are seeking.

Something holds us back though.  Exhausted, you wonder how to find the strength at times to continue on.  Nurturing our spiritual lives seems more like a duty at times, adding one more thing to our life of responsibilities that are already overflowing.

A Tale of Two Sisters

We’ve all felt that struggle.  We want to worship like Mary, but the Martha inside keeps bossing us around.  Here’s a refresher course in case you’ve forgotten the story.  It’s found in Luke.  It’s the talk of two sisters.  It’s the tale of you and me.

“Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His  word.  But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.”  And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things.  But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”  (Luke 10:38-42)

The first time I read the story of Mary and Martha in the bible, I thought that Mary was being very selfish.  After all I relate to Martha more than Mary.  I am the type of person that has to make sure everything is done just right.  I think they call that a perfectionist.

She was quite a woman…Betty Crocker and Martha Stewart all rolled into one.  She was the perfect hostess that could cook a huge meal at the drop of a hat, and then runs out to the flower garden and picks flowers and arranges them perfectly on the table and manages to sew new curtains so the sun shines through just right for her Lord.

I grew up in a house with three older brothers.  I was the youngest and the ONLY girl.  I understand how frustrated Martha must have been when she finally found Mary just “sitting around”  I understand the anger she must have felt at the sight of her sibling sitting at the Master’s feet in the living room.  There was still so much to do, and there sat Mary, happy as a lark, butting her nose in where it obviously didn’t belong, chatting with the men, totally uncaring of what Martha was trying to do for the Lord in the other room.

Mary had about all she could take.  She decided to do a little tattle telling and get Mary in some trouble.  She informs Jesus that Mary is being lazy and there is much to do and that her sister is being inconsiderate and not helping her in the kitchen.

Now me being the do gooder that I am the first thing I thought when I read this passage, was “you mean I have to do more than I am doing?”  Well there was just no way!  How could I possibly do more than I am doing.  I have something going on everyday for the Lord.  How could I possibly find time to do more than I am doing?

Mary and Martha both loved Jesus.  On this occasion they were both serving him.  But Martha thought Mary’s style of serving was inferior to hers.  She didn’t realized that in her desire to serve, she was actually neglecting her guest.

Jesus did not blame Martha for being concerned about household chores.  He was only asking her to set priorities.  It is possible for service to Christ to degenerate into mere busywork that is no longer full of devotion to God.

Are you so busy doing things for Jesus that you’re not spending any time WITH Him?  Don’t let your service become self serving.

I have been without internet for the last day or so, so this is my post that was supposed to go up yesterday.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY has arrived at Heavenly Ramblings!

On Wednesdays all over the internet, bloggers post a photograph with no words to explain it on their blog. Hence the ‘wordless’ title. The idea is that the photo itself says so much that it doesn’t need any description.  I will be participating in this intriguing idea every Wednesday on my blog.

I run a daycare in my home and I have been dealing with sick kiddos for some time now.  Snotty noses, coughing, fevers.  Everyone has had them including the 4 of us who live in this house.  I only keep 2 children at the present time and they are both in the same family.  Today they were both sick and made a trip to the doctor to once again get on antibiotics.

So today I decided I am tired of being sick and passing this stuff around so I went to the store and stocked up on Lysol and cleaning supplies and going to sanitize the house.  I am not keeping children tomorrow and my daughter and I are going to tear the house apart.  I hate cleaning especially spring cleaning in the winter time.  :(

Also my mother is going to be coming home sometime in the next week and she is going to be 75 in March and she surely doesn’t need all the germs around her.  Kelsey has already turned her room upside down and inside out cleaning it.

So a busy day it will be tomorrow cleaning and jamming to some Christian music I am sure.  I feel some Jars of Clay and maybe even a little Big Daddy Weave coming on!

On a different note…if you enjoyed the post yesterday from my husband…head on over to Slice of Home and check out his blog.  He is an amazing writer and an extraordinary man of God.  I love him so much!

I count it a joy and privilege to be able to share on her blog, because I know the many, many people that God has allowed her to reach out to with her posts every day. The Lord is changing lives, molding hearts, and shaping spiritual walks; and I know that a LOT of that is due to Jeannie’s increasing walk of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

For those of you who don’t know my darling wife like I do…all I can say is this: she is a humble servant of God who is always thinking and praying for others more than herself; she is a tough cookie on the outside but a fragile and delicate creature in her spirit. There have been many tragedies in her life (the greatest of these was burying our daughter Micah so long ago after her courageous battle with cancer) yet she has risen above them with the Lord’s unconditional love lifting her up. She loves to cook for armies literally God’s army!); she has the voice of a angel taking flight; she would be willing to lay her life down for her fellow brother or sister; she laughs unashamedly; cries over a lost soul; and is perhaps one of the greatest moms I’ve ever been around.

I say these things because during the past few months, she has experienced hurt, pain, and there were times when she has doubted herself; yet she has never, ever doubted God and His Word. It’s been a tough struggle, as she has bared her soul to others only to see them stab her with hurtful words or lying deceit…yet she has never wavered as she presses towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14). I know that it brings joy to God’s heart, knowing that His servant Jeannie, even in struggles, persecution, and trials, keeps on pushin’ on for the Lord!

Edification is what each and every Christian needs in the world today: and I wanted to take just a few short moments to give encouraging birthday words to my helpmate, my spouse, and my best friend. Jeannie, God wants you to know that He loves you so very much, and that He is proud of you for your constant and unrelenting Christian witness to others. He also wants you to never forget that even though life on this earth can be so very hard and difficult at times, it is but for a time; a season (Ecclesiastes 3). And when this season on earth is through, your testimony will be passed down through the generations as a great reminder to our children as to the power of our living God, and to His promises that He gives us in John 3:16.

I love you, my precious Jeannie. You are a blessing to me, and to many others.

Happy Birthday from me, and from God.  :)

Yesterday I wrote about an experience I had during a celebration that Harvest Time Ministries from Bowling Green, Mo put on called “The Great Awakening.”  I wanted to elaborate on what has happened to me since that time.

When I was 14, I fell in love with a young man who would become my husband some 23 years later.  I knew I was in love with him, and he knew it.  The problem was that he was 1/2 Japanese and I worried that my family would not be accepting of a “mixed” relationship.  After telling me how he felt about me one evening, I ran scared like a little girl and never told him how I felt.  We spent the next 22 years apart.  When he found his way back into my life, I was all too eager to tell him how I felt all those years ago.  Today we have been married for 8 years, and I can’t imagine being anywhere else.

So I got to thinking about how much this had paralleled my walk with Jesus.  I remembered being in love with Jesus at one time in my life, but circumstances in my life let me to believe that the worlds views of a relationship with Jesus are of no value.  I decided that I wanted to “fall in love with Jesus again.”

The world tells us that life is all about love.  But the love the world tells us about it a love for self.  The two greatest commandments Jesus gave us is – to love God and to love your neighbor.  Mark 12:30-31 tells us “ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no commandment greater than these.”  

When we as Christians stop spending time with God, it is noticeable, especially as it comes out in one’s attitude. You can tell when someone is not walking with God.  Their actions show it.  One of my husbands favorite sayings is “Preach the gospel, when necessary use words.”  People should be able to tell if we love God by the actions we take and the things we say.

If I don’t spend time with God on a given day, I know it. If I don’t spend time with God for a couple of days, my husband begins to notice. If I don’t spend time with God for about a week, all my friends start to ask what is wrong with me.  It comes out in my attitude because I become critical, I’m impatient, I can be cranky.  But when I am spending time being in the Word and allowing the Holy Spirit to fill you with love it pushes all those things out the back door.  The only way you get that love is spending time with Jesus and being in the Word.  Surrounding yourself with like-minded people gives you the strength and support to WANT to be in the Word and spend time in prayer with God.

Today I choose to serve the Lord.  I will do the best I can to live my life for Jesus Christ.   Whatever it takes Lord, I want to be used by you in such a way that on that final day I’ll hear you say ‘well done now good and faithful servant, you may enter my kingdom.

About a year ago, I fell in love with Jesus, again.  I never knew that I was supposed to have that kind of relationship with Him.  I am excited to serve Him everyday and I look forward to waking up each and every morning with a renewed sense of what it means to have someone who loves me unconditionally.  Thank you Jesus for dying on a lonely cross to save me from my sins.  I give you all the praise,  honor, and glory, for everything you have given me in my life.  I will do the very best I can to serve you.

A few months ago, on a  Saturday evening, I was privileged to attend somewhat of a revival.  That is the best word I have found to describe what happened in this servants heart.  However “revival” seems so minuscule for what actually DID happen.  You can read what my husband wrote about it here.

I think back to times when I have heard my husband talk about John Wesley’s Alders gate experience where he describes his heart as being “strangely warmed”;  or Martin Luther when he talks of his ”tower experience,” when he suddenly became convinced of the truth of the certainty of the gospel – the unforgettable experience of switching from despair and uncertainty to true faith and conviction; or when John Calvin wrote in his journal in 1533, ”God subdued and brought my heart to surrender”.

All I can tell you is that this servants heart was changed in a way that I went into the evening not expecting.  The following is an account of what happened.

Upon arriving we entered into a building that certainly didn’t look like a church (it was a fair ground building).  But the minute we walked into the room I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit.  It gave me somewhat of a chill that made my bones feel like they were jumping around inside of my body.  We were really early so we were one of the first ones there.  We found a place to sit for the dinner and sat down and started talking to Mike and Crystal Blackwell.  (they went with us)  As I sat there Mike asked me if I was ok.  ”yes”, I replied, “I just feel out-of-place.”  He laughed and said because you are out of your comfort zone I guess.  I said “not really, it is not an uncomfortable feeling just a feeling of uneasiness.”

Now to give you a little background, the organizer of this event was Pastor Marshall Adams from Harvest Time Ministries in Bowling Green; nine months ago, God gave him the same vision that he gave my husband Richard (many years ago) about revival in the northern MO area. Marshall prays specifically about where God would have him speak to His people…and Brookfield was one of those towns where God told him that revival was going to happen. The Holy Spirit guided him to our town, and to CSBC, one Sunday evening about four months ago, and everything Marshall told us was exactly what the Lord was having Richard teach on and share with the people, that very evening. Ever since Marshall’s visit, we have had tremendous revival within the church with SEVERAL baptisms and professions of faith and new members! He shared this map with us:

Here is the map’s breakdown: the yellow dots on the map signify churches where Marshall said that God has told him were truly “kissed” with God’s Presence; the red dots are indicators where the outreach from those churches are spreading; the blue dots are towns where God has told him to go in the future; the orange dots are churches where Marshall has visited that do not want to have anything to do with God’s vision of revival and renewal; and the black dot is a church that is spiritually dead.

We ate a wonderful meal and I continued to be quiet (and for me is NOT normal…LOL).  We moved up to our chairs to start the worship service and their praise band started playing.  Now I was suspecting of Marshal’s services at the church he serves being, well, very “worshipful” but nothing like I was about to experience.  I have never been in a pentecostal or full gospel church in my life so I wasn’t sure what to expect.  So at this point I am thinking my uneasiness is due to that.  I had no idea what was in store for my heart that evening.

My husband spoke on evangelism with such conviction that I cried to see him talking about God with a passion that seemed to well up from his belly and explode out of his mouth, expressing how burdened he is for the least the last and the lost.  I think back to how the seminary professor told him he was too passionate about God’s Word and that he didn’t belong in the Methodist conference.  Can that even happen?  Can someone be too passionate about God’s Word?

Then a man only known to me as “Pastor Dave” spoke about prayer.  He spoke for almost 30 minutes and the very first statement he made stuck with me and brought me to tears and I knew then why I felt so uncomfortable and what the “uneasiness” was that had consumed my very soul at the start of the evening.  The statement was this…”Your walk  with God, directly reflects the amount of time you spend with God.”   I don’t think I stopped crying for the next two hours.  WOW makes me cry just typing it.

Pastor Marshall got up and spoke about revival in the land.  He talked about all the churches on the map that he had visited and all that God had laid on his heart about what was going to happen over the next few months.

Throughout the evening, I was very humbled and felt very ashamed at the portrayal of my Christian walk to other people.  I have had people say to me things like “how do you keep the faith so strong”, or “how can you work so hard for God for a reward you  may not see for years to come”, or “you have so much faith in God and your relationship with him is so good.”  I realized at that moment when Pastor Dave made that statement that made such an impact on my life that I have failed my Lord and Savior once again.  I don’t spend as much time with him as I should.  And I certainly don’t give him as much of myself as I think I do.  I as a Christian, can always do more.  I realized at that moment that I can never give enough back to God to repay Him for everything He has given up for me.

I experienced things that evening that I had not seen  before.  Speaking in tongues, people slain in the spirit, and prayer for healings.  Now don’t get me wrong, this was no Benny Henn, blow you over healing service.  This was a true intercessory praying, God ordained, prayer/healing service that I had never experienced.

Now here I am several months removed and Pastor Marshall has made several visits to our church.  ”The Awakening” that our church has had in this time has been remarkable.  I never knew that worshiping God SHOULD be like this.  When we praise God, in any setting, we should give him our all.  We should give him all of our selves.  All of us in song, prayer, during the message, joys, reading of His Word, all of it.  If we are willing to give Him only a small part of ourselves, and only during worship on Sunday, how devoted to Him are we.  God does not belong in a box.  When we put Him in a box and only take Him out on Sundays, we limit God and His abilities.  God wants us to give Him all the praise honor and glory every minute of everyday of our lives.   We should learn to fall in love with Jesus first and foremost.  When we learn that basic principle, then we can truly have a relationship with Jesus and begin a walk that will take us on a journey beyond our wildest dreams.

That is how I felt the day my sweet husband, Richard, waltzed back into my life after being gone for 22 years.  So much so that the legendary song by Etta James was the song we danced to at our wedding.  (well that isn’t entirely true.  We were SUPPOSED to dance to it and the DJ lost it, so we ended up dancing to “Smoke Gets In Your eyes” by the Platters.)

So today when Richard called to tell me that Etta James had died, I was saddened to say the least.  Her music as a legendary blues singer was unique in its form and unique to the music industry.

She died from complications from leukemia with her husband, Artis Mills, and her sons by her side.  She was diagnosed with leukemia in 2010, and also suffered from dementia and hepatitis C. James died at a hospital in Riverside, California. She would have turned 74 Wednesday.

She will be missed by the music industry I am sure, but missed more by two high school sweethearts that think of her song often, in fact each time we turn on “our music” we think of “At Last.”

Rest in peace Etta James.

A while back I got an email from Family Life.It was from Dennis and Barb Rainey who together as husband and wife wrote “Moments Together for Couples”. You can subscribe to the daily emails here. They are very enlightening at times and at others hit home hard. Today’s email addressed husbands as being a ”servant-leader.” The husband and father is to lead, to love and to serve.

Well I have been thinking about this for sometime now and although I think it is important to inform husbands of what Christ requires of them, the only time we hear about what is required of wives is on mothers day.(i.e. the virtuous woman)I finished a book a while back (about 6 months before Richard and I were married) by Laura Doyle, The Surrendered Wife. This book opened up my eyes to marriage and life as a woman and mother. I highly recommend reading it.

It the book of Titus, Paul talks about teaching the older women to be reverent in the way they live so they can teach the younger women “……….To love their husbands and children, to be self controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands…” so that the Word of God will be honored.

Women were CREATED for their husband. God carefully chose us as gifts to them and them to us. We are called to be a helper to our man. This was God’s plan for us from the beginning.

The question is now, “So what do I need to do to be a helper to my husband?” The best way to answer that question is simple: Ask your husband. Now, if your husband is not used to you being a helpmate, this question may catch him off guard. He may even be a little scared of what your intentions are. Sit down with him and tell to him that you want to be the wife that the Lord created you to be. You may even need to ask for forgiveness of behaviors exhibited in the past. (Trying to be the leader instead of the helper, belittling him, being disrespectful toward him, etc.). Once you ask for his forgiveness, he will see that you really want to honor the Lord (and him) in your role as his wife.

Besides doing the things that your husband asks you to do, there are other things that God clearly commands us to do through His word.

Don’t be a nag. In Proverbs 27:15 it says a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand. Nagging is a form of torture. People nag because they think they are not getting through, but nagging hinders communication more than it helps. When you are tempted to nag at your husband, stop and examine your motives. Are you more concerned about yourself – getting your way, being right – than about your husband whom you are pretending to help? If you are truly concerned about HIM, think of a more effective way to get through to him. Try speaking to him with words of patience and love, and see what happens. If it turns out that you were right and he was wrong, he doesn’t need you to point that out to him. You just need to continue to love and support him as you have been called to do. You are not in competition with him, instead, you need to be his biggest fan and cheer him on.

Be a submissive wife and don’t interfere with his role as the leader. This is hard for me sometimes. I think that it is an area that so many woman struggle with. What makes it so hard is that we (as women) feel like we have a better handle on every situation when WE are in control of it.

The problem with this thinking is that (1) God didn’t create the woman to be the protector. In Genesis 2:18 it says “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not suitable for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him’” The key word in that verse is HELPER. God created men to lead the household. If women are taking on stress and burdens that were meant for our husbands than we are only creating unnecessary stress for ourselves. God did not equip us to handle that.

I am going to be honest with you on this one because it is something that has taken me a long time to learn (and yes, I am still learning). Life is so much sweeter (for both Richard and I) when I submit to the authority that the Lord has placed over me. Your husbands’ role is to lead his family. He will have to answer to God for the way that he led his family. You have to answer to God on how you were a helper to your husband. The husband has a much greater burden to bear than the wife does – but God created the husband to be more ABLE to bear this burden. When I started submitting to my husband’s authority, I didn’t realize the tremendous amount of stress I relieved from my body. My submission also gave my husband a feeling of freedom too – his freedom was that I would be supportive of his decisions and that I would be trusting in him to lead. It is amazing the changes in both the husband and the wife when the wife chooses to submit to her husband. Outsiders think that Richard just runs my life. Tells me where to go, what to do, and how to do it. This is not the case. I submit to my husband and together we have a richer marriage, a happier marriage, and we actually want to be around each other all the time. We can’t stand being away from one another. It is not a lack of control on my part but a blessing of less control. I LOVE IT!

Now, I am sure some of you are thinking that you are only leading because your husband won’t lead – but maybe he’s not leading because you have just taken over and he hasn’t had a chance. If this is the case, then you need to go to him and talk to him about this. Yes, you need to repent and ask for forgiveness. I am guilty of wanting to lead sometimes and I will ask Richard (and the Lord) to forgive me and then I just pray that the Lord would help me to continue to be faithful in my role as a wife.

Honor your husband with your speech. You can either build up your husbands up with what you say or tear them down. If you want your husband to be a good leader, then you need to believe that he is a good leader, and you need to tell him and others. Don’t miss an opportunity to praise him in public but never talk about any of his faults in front others. Everyone has faults (both the wives and husbands) if there is an area that your husband is struggling with, you need to encourage him, pray for him and be a helper to him in that area.

Love your husband physically. We also need to love our husband – not just with our hearts but also with our body. The bible tells us that we were created for each other. Even if you really aren’t in the ‘mood’, you can still take pleasure knowing that your husband is having his needs met by you. This (as all of the above) is something else that I have struggled with previously. If I take the focus off my needs being met and placed my desire on seeing his needs being met, well, things change dramatically and it becomes not just a ‘wifely duty’ but a shared blessing between husband AND wife. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than to know I please my husband. One thing that is a plus in our relationship is that my husband gives me an opportunity to experience intimacy outside the bedroom. Not just with snuggling on the couch-watching movie but with words of encouragement as his wife. Not all women have this but believe me if you submit and treat him with the above commandments from God you will start reaping the rewards.

Love your husband above all. You should love your husband above everyone else (except the Lord – the Lord should be your very first love). Sometimes, our love will call for sacrifices, but you will quickly see that they are actually blessings.

Tell your husband that you love him and show him that you love him. What are some ways that you can show him? This will vary. Ways that are of interest to Richard may not be of interest to your husband. Here are a few ideas: a hot dinner, nightly back rub, starched shirts, planning family trips, wearing things he likes to see on you, sending treats to the office…. A really good book that I read about showing love to your spouse was “101 Nights of Great Romance” by Laura Corn. This book may give you some ideas on how to best express love to your husband. It has everything from the extreme weekend getaway to the simple task of leaving love notes in his shirt pockets for the next time he wears that shirt.

This ended up being more like a short story than a blog entry but God has been impressing upon my heart to share this with those of you who read my blog. Some of you already know this information, some are struggling within a marriage where God isn’t present, and I am sure some of you are reading this saying “what is she talking about?” No matter what the circumstances, please stop what you are doing right now and pray “God today is the beginning of my marriage. I give it to you and I pray that you will help me become the Godly wife you created me to be. Please give me the courage to make the changes I need to make, to show my husband that I truly believe in him as the head of our marriage and leader of our family. Show me the way Lord, to becoming a wife my husband and you can be proud of. Amen”

Go on over to hubby’s blog and read about being a Godly husband.

God has blessed me to have been able to give birth to 3 wonderful, very bright, very beautiful daughters. (I acquired 5 boys when I married Richard…………WHEW!!) Although I enjoy the boys immensely when the come to visit, I feel particularly blessed to have had girls. I have always said that God knew what he was doing when he gave me girls.  I have always felt I am just not “boy mom” material.  There is nothing more heartwarming to a mother than to have a relationship with her daughter. Each one of my daughters and I have a unique relationship. Although none are perfect, and none are the same, I cherish every one of them.

The relationship between a mother and daughter is one of the most profound bonds in life. I felt my daughter’s first kick during pregnancy, laboured to bring them into the world and watched as they took their first breath of life, their first step, first word, among many other firsts. Similarly, a daughter opens up a new world and range of emotions to her mother, showing her an unconditional love.

Micah, kept me on my toes. She was my curious one. She always had questions about everything. Even about her death. She knew she was going to die and always had a sense of wonder about it. Almost like she was trying to explain it to me. She was a true angel sent from heaven to fill so many people’s lives with hope, and show others what it was like to love unconditionally. Even though she only lived a short 5 years on this earth, I probably learned more from her than I have any adult in my life. I miss her profoundly. I miss all she should have done. All the things a mother gets to do with her daughter.  This past September she had been gone for 19 years.  She died on the 14th, and her funeral was on the 17th.  For the first time in 19 years, those two days came and went without me giving either of them a second thought.  Usually on those two days, and her birthday (April 30th) you would find me curled up with a blanket staring at the TV or immersed in a book with the attitude of don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, just leave me alone here to feel sorry for myself.  Not this year.  It was kind of overwhelming when the 25th rolled around and I realized that I hadn’t consciously thought of her on those days.

Briana, is my softhearted child. She has so much potential inside of her, but hides it behind a very tough exterior. She is one of those kids that was made to grow up very fast. She is the fixer of our family. She always thought she had to take care of everyone and fix whatever problems our family was faced with.   I fault myself for not allowing her to see the potential she has. She has been a true blessing to me. She is the one who will do great things with her life.  She had lost her way for a while, but now is on her way back to finding herself, and finding her way back to a relationship with us.  I am so proud of her and I love her for showing me things that I was not able to see about myself.

Brings us to my youngest child. Kelsey is a feisty child. Definitely has a mind of her own. She wants things her way, when she wants them, how she wants them and for whatever reason she wants them. She has been a blessing to my life for reasons that my other two children could never be. Before she was born, I began what I like to call my stupid moment that lasted 8 years. She was a result of that moment. I wouldn’t trade her in for that for all the kids in the world. She took part greatly in keeping me sane in that time. She is now the little light in my life that shines with rays of hope. I look at her and see what I want the world to be like. She has a true heart for Jesus, and truly lives her life for Him.

So to my children, I want to say thank you……

• For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside of me;
• For all the nights I have slept with you because you were scared;
• For all the nights I prayed for you;
• For all the nights I doctored you when you were sick;
• For all the trying times, and all the tears that you’ve caused through the years;
• For all the nights that were filled with worry when you were somewhere else;
• For all the noisy toys I regretted buying you;
• For all the clothes I bought and you didn’t want to wear (but I made you anyway);
• For all the tears for joy and sorrow I cried everyday of my life for you;

For all of that I only ask one thing in return. Please keep God at the center of your life… Only God can satisfy the longings in your heart and life and only He can be the cool drink of water when you are thirsting for something more.

Today I spent the day with a close friend.  A friend that I have not spent much time with in the last few months.  It was kind of bittersweet reunion.  Bitter because we had to talk about some tough issues in our relationship.  Sweet because I have really missed her!

I titled this post Faith; Friends; and forgiveness because those are the three elements that must be present in a friendship for it to work.

Turning to faith during challenging moments in a friendship offers healing, reflection and renewal.  It also permits us to call upon God when we feel that we can’t possibly face one more unexpected trial in a friendship. Trials can be anything that puts a strain on the friendship.  Outside influences, spouses, children, family, sickness…etc…  Faith offers a safe haven to cry or vent powerful emotions like grief and anger without fear of judgment.  Faith allows us to voice our deepest feelings to a friend.  Faith even helps us find reason for hope when others tell us we aren’t being realistic.

A few months back she and I had a sort of falling out.  There really wasn’t anything specific, other than we didn’t have faith in our friendship and when others started influencing how we felt about each other, we chose to listen to them instead of each other.  To tell the truth, I think we were equally hurt. Here’s where our ego and self came into action, surpassing the pain of hurting each other, it controlled our minds and action for a moment in time.  It seemed like an eternity.

I went to her several times to ask what was wrong and if there was something between us that we needed to address.  The answer was always no.  I did feel however that there was something missing.  We had been very good friends and now all of a sudden we barely spoke and barely talked to one another, only in passing and only being polite.  We were civil but beyond that we weren’t hanging out anymore.  And we became distant acquaintances instead of close friends.

Out of the blue this morning, I received a text from her that said she was grateful for our friendship.  After crying for a few minutes, I sent her a message back saying close to the same thing and that I missed her.  She took the next step and stopped by my house with a Sunkist Orange soda in her hand!  Now this is a very important step because when she used to visit me daily, she would bring me an orange soda (I drink regular Sunkist and she drinks diet).  We sat around and had some idle chit-chat then got the heart of the issue.  We talked about the issues between us and “cleared some air” and seemed to pick up our friendship where we had left it…in some black hole of time…with tears, joy, and friendship.

You see, whatever the problem is, you have to be willing to forgive and be forgiven.  Asking for forgiveness is just as hard as forgiving.  But both are necessary for a friendship to work.  Both parties must be willing to take the steps to repair damage that the world can do to a friendship.

We have shared secrets, sought advice from one another, stood up for each other, kept each others children, shared many dinners together with our families, listened to one another, but most of all we have forgiven each other.  I cherish my friendship with her and thank  God for her presence in my life everyday.

I have a handful of friends that I consider to be my closest.  I am thankful and praise God everyday for them and consider it a privilege to be counted on their friend list.  I am excited to begin to build a relationship with all of us together.  Looking forward to taking a retreat trip the end of February!  We all are going to have a blast!  I love you my friend! (you know who you are)  Thank you for reaching out and helping us both begin to repair our friendship.