I was sitting around today thinking of all the things I had to be thankful for. You see it has been an extremely hard day for me. The first thing that popped into my mind was my daughter, Micah. She died of cancer over 13 years ago. I was feeling particularly down and missing her alot today for some reason. I kept looking at the wall in our living room that has all the kids pictures on it, (well 6 of the 8 ) and each time I did my attention was drawn away from her picture and to the other 5 pictures on the wall. Briana, Jordan, Jon, Kelsey, and Isaac. Each time I thought of her I would immediately think of the others. It was like God, and even possibly Micah herself, was telling me look what you have to be thankful for. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. So I decided to share my thoughts with the rest of you.
God has blessed me to have been able to give birth to 3 wonderful, very bright, very beautiful daughters. (I acquired 5 boys when I married Richard…………WHEW!!) Although I enjoy the boys immensely when the come for the summer, I feel particularly blessed to have had girls. There is nothing more heartwarming to a mother than to have a relationship with her daughter. Each one of my daughters and I have a unique relationship. Although none are perfect, and none are the same, I cherish everyone of them.
The relationship between a mother and daughter is one of the most profound bonds in life. I felt my daughter’s first kick during pregnancy, laboured to bring them into the world and watched as she took their first breath of life, their first step, first word, among many other firsts. Similarly, a daughter opens up a new world and range of emotions to her mother, showing her an unconditional love.
Micah, kept me on my toes. She was my curious one. She always had questions about everything. Even about her death. She knew she was going to die and always had a sense of wonder about it. Almost like she was trying to explain it to me. She was a true angel sent from heaven to fill so many peoples lives with hope, and show others what it was like to love unconditionally. Even though she only lived a short 5 years on this earth, I probably learned more from her than I have any adult in my life. I miss her profoundly. I miss all she should have done. All the things a mother gets to do with her daughter.
Briana, is my softhearted child. She has so much potential inside of her, but hides it behind a very tough exterior. She is one of those kids that was made to grow up very fast. She is the fixer of our family. She always thought she had to take care of everyone and fix whatever problems arrived in the family. I fault myself for not allowing her to see the potential she has. She has been a true blessing to me. She is the one who will do great things with her life. I am so proud of her and I love her for showing me things that I was not able to see myself.
Brings us to my youngest child. She is a feisty child. Definitely has a mind of her own. She wants things her way, when she wants them, how she wants them and for whatever reason she wants them. 🙂 She has been a blessing to my life for reasons that my other two children could never be. Before she was born, I began what I like to call my stupid moment that lasted 8 years. She was a result of that moment. I wouldn’t trade her in for that for all the kids in the world. She took part greatly in keeping me sane in that time. She is now the little light in my life that shines with rays of hope. I look at her and see what I want the world to be like. She has a true heart for Jesus, and truly lives her little 10 year old life for Him.
So to my children, I want to say thank you……
- For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside of me;
- For all the nights I have slept with you because you were scared;
- For all the nights I prayed for you;
- For all the nights I doctored you when you were sick;
- For all the trying times, and all the tears that you’ve caused through the years;
- For all the nights that were filled with worry when you were somewhere else;
- For all the noisy toys I regretted buying you;
- For all the clothes I bought and you didn’t want to wear (but I made you anyway);
- For all the tears for joy and sorrow I cried everyday of my life for you;
For all of that I only ask one thing in return. Please keep God at the center of your life… Only God can satisfy the longings in your heart and life and only He can be the cool drink of water when you are thirsting for something more.