Confused?….not really. Bewildered?…..maybe

110/365 Days of blogging

I am sure that something amazing is fixing to happen in my life!  I am just sure of it.  My grandma used to say all the time…’If satan is working this hard in your life, you must be doing something right!”  I feel like he is not just working, he is taking on extra shifts.  I feel like I am under attack, spiritually, physically, mentally, and certainly emotionally.  I cry at the drop of a hat these days.  Anything from a cute commercial to putting in 14 hour days to make sure that the family of a late member of our church’s needs were met during their time of loss.

I am sure of the fact that I will never give in to satan’s attacks.  I KNOW I will always “press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”  (Philippians 3:14)  I try to keep my eyes upward and set my mind on things that are of God.  But then the world steps in and says…try this on for size.  But, still, at times I feel very small and minute and unable to “let go and let God”.  I petition God for the strength to see me through all I must bear.  I pray for the strength that can only come from Him, to get me through the things He has set before me.

So I ask, how do we keep pushing and keep marching on, when the world tells us to just give up and turn in our sword for something that is less troubling?  I can only tell you this…God has a plan for our lives.  I don’t know what His plans for me are.  Oh how it would be so much easier to know what is coming and be prepared.  Truth is, if we knew, would it change our faith.  Would it ensure that we would rely on God more because we know we don’t have the strength to endure it on our own.  Or we would just say oh well, I will deal with it when it gets here.

Now it may see as though I am on a pity pot, and maybe I do sit there from time to time, but I have spent the last few days, since our retreat, trying to focus on what is real in my life and what is important. I think for that reason, for the reason of me trying to focus more on God and Godly things, satan is getting paid overtime.  But I keep on pressing on and praying to God, asking him to remove each and every dart that satan throws at me, as I know only He can.

What is important:  First and foremost my relationship with God the Almighty Father.  The work I do at God’s church, and for God’s church is very important to me.  The time I spend personally and collectively with my husband is important to me.  My husband is important beyond measure.  My daughter and her school work.  My mother and her health. And on and on and on…..  Then comes me somewhere down the line.  Now I know I am supposed to take care of myself, but I am still trying to find a healthy balance about that.  I KNOW I need to start an exercise program.  I also know that I have no time left in my schedule.  I know I need to eat better…but again no time to prepare healthy meals so I eat quick things.  I did manage to get my entire garden planted yesterday so I praise God for that!

The point of all of this is the fact that when we get overwhelmed with life…God doesn’t want us to sit around and worry about anything.  God knows what we need! He knows we all need to depend on the only thing that will make us feel strong enough to tackle the difficulties of life. That strength can only come from Him.

God tells us not to worry.  “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;” (Philippians 4:6).  That seems like an impossible task.  We all have many things to worry about.  We worry at our jobs, in our homes, at school.  But Paul’s advice is to turn our worries into prayers.  If you want to worry less, then pray more.  When I feel myself starting to worry, I just start praying.  I rebuke satan, because God is not the author of confusion.  Confusion comes from satan.  And believe me, satan wants us to be confused.  He wants our focus to be off of God and on things of this earth.

Please remember me in your prayers, as I seek God’s face and wade through all the junk in my life to find what really matters.  And that is only that which is pleasing to God.

One last note.  I know that I am supposed to rely on God for ALL of my needs.   But I want to just say this…without the support of my husband, I would not have the strength to rely on God as much as I do.  He keeps me grounded in my faith, focused on God, and helps me to understand that “God will take care of us even when we think He isn’t.  I love you my darling.  Other than my salvation, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.  ILYMPATNAF!


One thought on “Confused?….not really. Bewildered?…..maybe

  1. Yes Jeannie I will definitely keep you in my prayers. I know exactly what you mean and your Grandpa was right. If everything in one’s life is going smoothly, then the enemy just let’s ’em alone.
    Proverbs 3: 5-6 (this is a passage I know you have set in your heart)…”in ALL your ways acknowledge HIM, and HE will direct your paths”. It’s not He may direct them, or might think about directing them~~ HE WILL!!
    Be blessed sister

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