144/365 days of blogging.
Guest blog comes to you from April over at Peacefulwife’s Blog. I love April’s writings She has such a unique way of bringing God’s word to where women can better understand how to be a Godly wife and surrender her marriage to God. For the next few blogs, I am going to post a series of her blogs that tell how to do just that.
I LOVE submission now that I understand God’s beautiful design! I am blissfully happy ranking myself under my husband and under God, NOT trying to be in charge, surrendering control and being yielded to them!!!! I would be the poster child for biblical submission if I could! Now I get to be the pampered passenger and look up and enjoy the scenery instead of trying frantically to figure out where to go,when, how, trying to arrange all the details and dealing with all the headaches and frustrations of trying to be in charge. Wow! This is NICE! I feel like the VIP!
My favorite definition of submission in marriage is to “empower my husband’s leadership.” And I think that also translates into my relationship with God to empower His leadership and His Spirit’s work in my life – to be open and available to all that He desires to do in and through me. I want to have a willing spirit that says “Yes, Lord!” to God and “Yes, Honey!” to my husband! (Of course, if my husband asked me to condone or commit sin, I would have to resist him and submit only to God and His Word. God’s authority trumps my husband’s authority!)
I LOVE placing myself under God’s and my husband’s leadership, wisdom, provision, protection and loving care. I feel adored, cherished, loved, connected and intimate with both God and my husband in ways I had always longed to be – but never could figure out before.
I am still equal in value to my husband and equal in importance – actually, I get treated as even better than equal now! But we have different roles and work together as a team for the good of the whole. I don’t try to have equal “authority” or be “equally in charge” anymore – which really used to mean that I was in charge and bossing my husband around. That did NOT work!
SUBMITTING TO GOD
Now, I know that my God is HUGE and very capable of handling things, directing me, leading me through my husband and running the universe. I don’t doubt Him like I used to. I don’t feel the need to try to help Him carry the weight or advise Him on how to make decisions anymore – and I see that it was actually pretty ridiculous that I used to try to do that. I have a VASTLY bigger picture of God now and a MUCH smaller picture of myself. I embrace humility eagerly these days! I have finally been broken of my MOUNTAINS of pride – thinking I knew best, I knew better than God and I knew better than my husband. I cheerfully accept that I do NOT know best – God does. What a beautiful place to be!
I gave up my idol of trying to be in control instead of God. I lean back and rest in His love, His wisdom and His provision for me knowing that He is doing what is best for me – even when I don’t know how it will work out. God is a Master Artist and He is painstakingly creating a masterpiece in me, my marriage and my life. I won’t see the finished work until I get to heaven – but I trust Him to know how to work out all the details just right for His glory and my good. His wisdom is MUCH higher than my own!
I want GOD’S will, His way, in His timing, by His power for His glory – ALL of His will – not mine anymore. Living in total submission to my Jesus and understanding that He is sovereign (and I am not) gives me such peace and joy!
SUBMITTING TO MY HUSBAND (OUT OF REVERENCE FOR CHRIST – Ephesians 5:22-33)
I LOVE submitting to my husband now. I don’t submit to his leadership because of my own wisdom or because he forces me to. (He has NEVER asked me to submit to him!) I am a strong, opinionated, capable, responsible, thoughtful, generous, intelligent, loving woman. I bring all of myself to our marriage. I have much to contribute and my husband adores all that I am and all that I give to him in our marriage. Submission to my husband is my joyful gift to my husband and to Christ.
This may sound strange – but biblical submission has actually been extremely freeing for me. I don’t have all that responsibility, weight, accountability and pressure to MAKE things happen “the right way” like I used to feel. I trust my husband completely now, and even more importantly, I trust God completely to lead my husband – even if my husband makes mistakes. This is ultimately about my faith in an all-powerful, sovereign, infallible God – not about putting all my faith in my fallible husband. I can’t have my husband as an idol – believe me – I have done that. It does NOT work. Submission to my husband has to be in obedience to Christ for it to work properly.
I know it is my husband who must answer to God for his leadership and decisions, not me. Whew! That’s a relief! And I want to be sure I make his difficult job as light and easy as possible – I don’t want to interfere between God and my husband and what God may be trying to say to my husband as the leader of our family.
So I tell both of them, respectfully, what I want, how I feel, my desires and thoughts and then I just leave it with them to decide what is best. Most of the time, my husband does what I like and want just because he loves to see me happy. He often selflessly gives for my benefit. My greatest freedom and peace comes from knowing that my husband will consider my feelings and weigh them carefully, but MY feelings will NOT be the deciding factor – he will use his judgment and wisdom to decide what is best for us. There are times my feelings and desires would lead to disaster! I’m thankful for the checks and balances of my husband’s leadership and his spiritual/emotional stability. He keeps me from making rash decisions and many mistakes.
I don’t get hung up on the outcome of decisions anymore. It makes for a lot of amazing surprises, romance and adventure. But it also is the key to a life of peace for me. I cling to Christ and I cling to my husband – I cling to my intimacy with them. I hold everything else very loosely. I roll with whatever God and the Respected Husband decide to do – and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
I CHANGED DRAMATICALLY
I went from being a fearful, anxious, uptight, worried, controlling, negative, miserable, lonely wife to being a woman with the beautiful peaceful, still, quiet spirit that does not give way to fear that is so beautiful in God’s sight and in my husband’s sight. All the negativity is gone. THIS IS HUGE! I felt like I could breathe for the first time in my life. I felt relaxed! ME!?!?!
I am living life to the fullest, enjoying every moment, savoring every relationship, free to look around and take in the sights on this wondrous journey. I am filled with thanksgiving, gratitude and awe at all that I see God do daily in my life. I can’t wait to see His plans! God Himself is empowering me to do His will in ways I could never have accomplished on my own. I feel like I am soaring on wings like eagles now. And I praise and thank God for this precious gift!
MY HUSBAND CHANGED DRAMATICALLY
He has become the godly man and leader I always knew he could be. But it was my willingness to follow him and respect him that inspired him to change. My criticisms, nagging, whining, controlling and negativity only inspired him to want to be far away from me.
He is so much more confident, more relaxed, more sure of himself, more intimate with me. He cares so much more about my feelings and how I am doing. He wants to connect with me as much as I want to connect with him now. He is relaxed and peaceful, too. And he is closer to God than EVER before! It is SO exciting to watch this transformation!
I’m not sure who is more blessed – my husband, myself, our children or God. But I know we are ALL winners now!
OBEYING GOD IS THE KEY TO A FULFILLING LIFE!
God’s primary purpose for each of us is to bring great glory and honor to Him. When we obey God – even when it doesn’t make sense, even when it is not politically correct, even when we look “really weird” to other people – we experience the supernatural presence, power, joy, peace and indwelling of the Holy Spirit of God! THAT is the key to living an abundant life!
I pray that You might open our eyes to the changes You want us to make in our own lives. Open our eyes to our sin. Convict us of the areas where we have been disobedient to You. Help us to repent to You and our husbands. Help us to study and devour Your Word. Help us to remove every idol that we have set up in place of You in our hearts. Let us be completely devoted to You alone and willing to submit to Your will, Your ways, Your paths and Your dreams for us. Help us to die to ourselves and willingly climb onto the altar daily as a living sacrifice – desiring to bring great glory and honor to You alone! Let our marriages and our faith in You bring people to Christ and bring great joy to Your heart!