Do You Allow Your Daughter To See the Femininity In You?

168/365 Days of blogging.

I have often wondered if my beautiful Godly daughter is the way she is because she is mimicking my behavior, or if she really “gets it” on her own.  I would like to think that She sees the Jesus in my and knows how important it is to follow God with her whole heart, mind, soul, and strength.  But do I really portray that for her?  I was intrigued by a post that April from Peaceful Wife wrote about femininity and what she hopes she is instilling in her daughter.  I couldn’t have written it better myself so I decided to let you read it first hand.

I had never given much thought to what femininity was and never felt very feminine as a child or teenager, or even well into adulthood. I was the dominant twin growing up and tended to dominate with my personality in marriage, too. When I discovered godly femininity, my little girl was 2 years old and was just beginning to love princesses. Having a daughter who would be modeling my example in every aspect of womanhood made me really think about what I want to model for her. I decided to start from scratch and re-learn what it meant to be a woman in God’s eyes and read all that I could about God’s design for women, wives, motherhood and marriage. The Bible says that older women are to teach the younger what is good (Titus 2:2-5). Here are some of God’s BEST things for women that will make us feel most fulfilled and that God designed us to do in our families:

  • To love (phileo – friendly, affectionate love… this probably involves a lot of smiling, cuddling and hugging!) our husbands and children
  • To be self-controlled (gentle voice and pleasant expressions on my face – not screaming and my head spinning)
  • To be pure (sexual purity and a healthy view of the blessing of sex in marriage, able to teach chastity)
  • To be busy at home (our primary sphere of responsibility and influence as women)
  • To be kind (to our husbands and children as well as others!)
  • To be subject to our husbands so that no one will malign the Word of God (to bring out the best in my husband and his leadership abilities, to encourage him, to praise his strengths and overlook his faults, to treat him with respect and model biblical submission in front of our children and others – ultimately for the glory of the gospel! A controlling, quarrelsome wife disqualifies her husband from leadership in the church and destroys the beauty of God’s intention of marriage to mirror Christ and the church – a controlling, angry, hateful, bossy, rebellious, disrespectful wife can repel people from accepting the gospel of Christ and finding salvation for their souls!?!? THIS IS HUGE STUFF! It’s not about my “rights” it’s about what God wants, His wisdom, His design and His glory!)

I believe that God made women to be life-givers and keepers of the home front. We are made to nurture our families with physical, emotional and spiritual food. It is our responsibility to love, ENJOY, and care for our families and to attend to all the little details of running a household and making it a place of peace, joy, safety, welcome, hospitality, friendship and love.

I absolutely love the idea of purposely training our girls to know who they are as girls, and later as women and to DEEPLY VALUE their roles as life-givers and the heart of the family as wives and mothers. I want my little girl to know it’s great to dream of being a godly wife and having children and to prepare for those roles. I love the thought of training them to be LADIES. What if we were to purposely train our girls to take care of a home (to make it a joy, a ministry and a blessing instead of drudgery), to cook for a family, to view children as a blessing, to shop and plan menus, to decorate a home, to be frugal and wise with money, to be a great hostess, to be skilled in the arts of hospitality? What if we trained them in the arts of grace, good-manners, conversation skills, respect, obedience to authority, and how to give to those in need? What if we trained them to take care of babies and to be concerned about orphans and the sick and those in need. What if we took them to nursing homes to brighten the day of some of the people there and to help them become familiar with care-giving and to not shy away from suffering and pain? What if we prepared them well to be wives, mothers and women who can teach younger women well? I long for us to teach our girls to be godly, Christ-centered, Holy-Spirit filled young women who radiate the love of Christ with a feminine flair and beauty.

I love the thought of teaching our girls to be comfortable in their own skin and in their own bodies – to enjoy the gift of their unique, feminine, God-given shape and not compare themselves to the fake, airbrushed images of the world. I hope to train my daughter to savor the beauty and fun of being a girl and a woman on the outside- to enjoy colors, jewelry, feminine fabrics, matching outfits, and tasteful makeup. But much more than those external things, I hope to train her to cherish the beauty of a feminine spirit – the unfading beauty of a gentle, quiet (stilled or peaceful) spirit that does not give way to fear but puts her hope in God (I Peter 3:4). What confidence a woman can have when she knows that she is beautiful in the sight of God!

I want our girls to know how to seek Jesus with all their hearts and how to attract godly young men who will be able to represent Christ well to them in marriage. I pray that we might model the godly power of femininity to change ordinary men into heroes. I pray they will see and learn from us how to inspire our men to be the best leaders possible, how we encourage, lift up, build up, praise, honor, show respect and cooperate with our husbands. I pray they might learn the skills they will need as wives and mothers from us and that we might help them to clearly see the lies of our culture and of feminism and help them to choose God’s narrow path that leads to life.

Our society will teach our children that marriage is oppressive, children are a burden, staying at home as a wife and/or mother is unfulfilling and unacceptable. We all get a continual IV drip into our minds with the messages of feminism (for the past 50+ years) that says that women should be independent of men, women should find fulfillment outside of the home, marriage is unnecessary, men are evil and children are inconvenient. The original intent of the leaders of feminism was to destroy the concept of God as Father (and to replace Him with paganism and goddesses), to undermine the authority of the Bible, and to replace women as being in charge of marriages (and free to declare DIVORCE at any moment) instead of God’s design for husbands to be the spiritual heads of their homes. Anything that God ordained or instituted, feminism is against it and seeks to destroy the institution of marriage, the definition of godly femininity, the definition of godly masculinity, the nobility and influence of motherhood, the precious value of children and the family. This calls for our generation of women to rise up and reject the world’s toxic ideas and very purposely determine to teach our girls the truth. I believe the hour is most urgent! I pray that God will raise up a godly generation of mothers to embrace His design, His wisdom, His truth and to embrace the Bible as the absolute authority over us, and our husbands as the spiritual authority in marriage, to embrace the beauty of femininity as God designed it and to stand against the sin and evil that seeks to destroy us and our children!! This is a call to arms to put on the full armor of God and fight this spiritual battle well in the power of God for the souls and future of our children.

I still have much to learn about raising a girl. I pray that God will use me to set a godly example of femininity, womanhood, marriage, motherhood and faith for my precious little one, and for my son, so that he will know what to look for in a woman to marry one day.

Many of you are way ahead of me on the journey of mothering daughters. I would love to hear your ideas, your examples and the ways that you teach and train your daughter in the arts of godly femininity! I appreciate your feedback and insight so much!

Lord,

Teach us to be godly mothers to our sons and daughters! Use us to train them in godly masculinity and godly femininity. Help us to teach them to cherish the gift of the gender You have given them. Help us to set godly examples for our children in all things!

Amen

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