192/365 days of blogging.
This guest post comes from April over at Peaceful Wife’s Blog. I think you have seen me post enough about how I love reading her stuff. So I will not bore you with it again. April you are awesome!
There is a concept that is simultaneously fascinating and horrifying to me that seems to be extremely prevalent in our culture – including in the church. It seems that somehow the sins that men tend to commit – lust, anger, pride, pornography – are generally viewed by men and women alike as more sinful than the sins women tend to commit. And here is where it gets scary in my view. Many women tend not to see certain sins at all.
WHY WOMEN THINK WE DON’T SIN THAT MUCH
We tend to justify and white-wash our sin and have reasons WHY we sin – and then we are able to convince ourselves that what we are doing is not actually sin.
- We have “low self esteem” – instead of labeling ourselves as having pride, envy of other women, idolatry of beauty, idolatry of our husbands, idolatry of being a certain size/weight, idolatry of trying to be in control ourselves and seeing ourselves as sovereign instead of God.
- We focus so much on being “right” that we justify treating our husbands with hatred, contempt, bitterness and disrespect because our husbands “deserve” it in our view.
- We have “hormonal problems” like PMS and menopause – and while this may be true, while these medical issues may have a huge contribution towards our behavior, we are STILL guilty of sin when we react in a rage, yell, scream, cuss, pridefully judge others, hold grudges, refuse to forgive and treat people with hatred and contempt.
- We talk about depression and anxiety, which CAN be medically based – but we ignore that many times our depression and anxiety are direct results of our lack of faith in God, our huge faith in ourselves instead, our disobedience to God’s Word and our lack of being Spirit-filled because we are cherishing sin in our hearts.
- We are “venting” or “sharing” – so we don’t count that as gossip – which is a sin in God’s sight. We HAVE to talk about how wronged we were and what victims we are, we feel it is just a part of being a woman to need to do this.
- We “HAVE” to take over control in our marriages because our husbands “won’t” lead. That is what I thought. I was so wrong! When I stepped back and WAITED patiently, my husband stepped up and became a stronger and stronger man of God and leader. My perception that he couldn’t or wouldn’t lead was wrong. I just didn’t give him a chance.
- We don’t usually struggle with lust (not to the degree men often do) and that allows us to self-righteously look down our noses at our husbands if they do have visual temptations and struggles. We don’t even see our ugly, prideful and self-righteous attitudes. Jesus had stronger words for these sins than almost anything else – that is what He spent so much time confronting the Pharisees about.
- We are easily deceived. So we can be completely blind to almost all of our own sin. I was. And when we think we aren’t REALLY big sinners, we think we don’t “owe” Jesus that much and we think we are in a position to judge, condemn and criticize our husbands spiritually (again – big sin). Because we don’t think we are big-time sinners, we don’t love Jesus like we should. We don’t see how much we truly owe Him. So we don’t have a good grasp on how much grace Jesus offers to us. We often don’t have much grace for ourselves, and we often don’t have much grace for our husbands and others. Because we don’t think we are that sinful, we also really struggle with forgiveness because we feel we are justified not to forgive, since we believe we haven’t sinned much ourselves. We set ourselves above God when we do this, saying we are better than God. Yes, God forgives, but I don’t really have to because I was hurt too much.
I would like to propose that there are ALWAYS reasons for sin. Primarily, we are sinners – that is the basic reason for sin. But I believe that people always have reasons that explain WHY they sin. But having reasons that trigger our sin does not excuse us from our sin or free us from the penalty of sin in the sight of our holy God.
Many of us had parents who didn’t confront our sin and allowed us to go completely unchecked without any rebuke or discipline. So we have often gone for decades with our sinful thoughts and attitudes without anyone saying anything about how ungodly our hearts are.
Our men tend to think we aren’t as sinful as they are, too, since we don’t usually have the same struggles they do. So they often do not confront us in our disrespect, our pride, our idolatry, our un-forgiveness, our bitterness, our resentment, our judgmental/critical spirits and our self-righteousness. So we continue on completely oblivious to just how wretched, sinful, sick and poverty-stricken we are spiritually.
Maybe we aren’t hearing a lot of sermons about the sins that cause us our deepest struggles? I think that may be possible. Could that contribute also to our ability to escape conviction?
IT’S TIME FOR A CHANGE
How I pray that women across Christianity will wake up to our serious and deadly sins. I pray God will convict us. I pray we will see and accept how incredibly sinful we are, and then embrace Jesus’ death and payment for our billions of dollars worth of sin debt we owe Him. Then we will be able to be humble before God and our husbands. Then we will be able to repent of our sins and truly become filled with God’s power to be the godly wives and moms He desires us to be. Then we will see the miracles of God in our families and experience the supernatural peace, joy, love, strength, power and abundant spiritual blessings of God!